Introduction
We as a community of sex educators, activists, workers—we as people—all have stories to share that are equally important. This is one such book that is as inspirational as it is educational, and it gives a collective voice to people and stories that are long overdue to be heard. I wrote copious notes as I read this nonfiction anthology: Best Sex Writing 2013: The State of Today’s Sexual Culture. All of the authors wrote with such clarity that I thought their tales were incredibly poignant and reminded me of something that Dr. Carol Queen, this book’s Guest Judge, said at CatalystCon East this year:

“Tell your truth.”

There is so much work to be done in the field of sexuality, and progress can be made as we all share our stories and collaborate with one another. I want to see the sex community grow into an inclusive environment in which acceptance runs as rampant as we like to think it does. It intrigues me to imagine how the sex community will change, and I can only hope it will be made all the better by books such as this one.

Let’s hear what the editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel, had to say:

“One of the things I like best about editing the Best Sex Writing series is approaching the ubiquitous topic of sex from new angles. I like to mix things up, to include authors who aren’t based in the world of sex writing alongside ones who are. I also like to mix things up by including deeply personal essays mixed with reportage, this year from publications like New York (“Very Legal: Sex and Love in Retirement”), The Atlantic (“Can a Better Vibrator Inspire an Age of Great American Sex?”), East Bay Express (“Sex by Numbers”), Riverfront Times (“Lost Boys”) and LA Weekly (“Porn Defends the Money Shot”).

Unlike editing my erotica anthologies, when I was editing Best Sex Writing 2013, I was “working” even when I wasn’t working. As I read for pleasure, I was also keeping an eye out for articles and essays that might fit in well with the book, which is how I discovered gems like “Sex by Any Other Name” by Insiya Ansari in the anthology Love, InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women, edited by Ayesha Mattu and Nura Maznavi and “Cherry Picking” by Julia Serano in the anthology Trans/Love: Radical Sex, Love & Relationships Beyond the Gender Binary, edited by Morty Diamond. Others I solicited about topics in the news, such as Tim Tebow and the reaction to his virginity (“Holy Fuck” by Jon Pressick).

Yet I want to be clear: yes, the book has the word “best” on it, but I would be sad if anyone thought this were the final word on sex writing, in 2013 or any other year. Any Best Of collection is always going to be colored by the person or people doing the selecting. While I believe the quality of the writing and thinking collected in this book is top-notch, what I hope readers take away is that they too are part of the conversation. I don’t expect everyone (or possibly anyone) to read all 20 pieces and think, I agree with everything in each one. In fact, that would disappoint me. Instead, I want them to serve up new ways of looking at topics such as aging and sexuality, or sex work and happiness, or whether polyamory is a relationship ideal. It’s likely that some of the pieces here might unnerve you, or confuse you, or arouse you, or educate you (or all of those)—and that’s a good thing.

I also appreciate that many of these pieces complicate the idea of a sexual utopia. They ask hard questions, push buttons and fight back against simplistic answers, whether it’s Lori Selke’s “Dear John” letter to the leather community or Patrick Califia’s essay “Enhancing Masochism,” where he writes: “This is not to say that BDSMers (or our relationships) are always happy and strong. Our community has its share of people who are mean-spirited or manipulative or crackers. Some of us find romantic love and lots of sex with ease; others experience higher levels of loneliness and unsatisfied desire. But this is simply the human condition. It’s okay for us to be imperfect.”

To that end, I know each reader will have different favorites in the book, different connections they make than the ones I made. I want this book to come alive, not literally, but in the sense that it gets talked about, debated, passed around. While in some ways it’s a time capsule, a snapshot of the current sexual moment, legal and cultural battles and achievements and news, it’s about, at heart, to reiterate what Califia wrote about the BDSM community, the human condition. Or rather, conditions. These authors are quite different from each other, but all are daring to speak openly and intimately about sexuality, whether their own or others’. They’re challenging themselves, their lovers and conventional (and less conventional) wisdom. I look forward to hearing what readers have to say about those challenges, and to seeing more writing that opens up the world of sex in smart, critical, exciting ways.”

Rachel Kramer Bussel edits the “Sex Diaries” for New York Magazine and hosts SRO readings around the country. Based in New York City, she is a prolific erotica editor, and her titles include Spanked, He’s on Top, She’s on Top, Passion, and Do Not Disturb.

Dr. Carol Queen is a writer, speaker, educator and activist with a doctorate in sexology. Her books include Pomosexuals, Real Live Nude Girl, and Switch Hitters. She lives in San Francisco, where she is the Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist.

Sweepstakes
Enter below to win a copy of Best Sex Writing 2013, given graciously by Cleis Press. The contest is open to everyone worldwide.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thank you, Rachel and Cleis Press for allowing me to take part in the blog tour for Best Sex Writing 2013! I’m so happy to be a part of this wonderful virtual blog tour. xoxo

 Love me and the world is mine.  -David Reed

 My first ever COMPETITION entry through Sinful Sunday! See who else entered below! xoxo

Thanks to Babeland, you have the chance to win a fancy, diamond-studded Jimmyjane Eternity vibrator.  This vibrator is worth $3,250!! This vibe comes in platinum or 24k gold.  It is waterproof and has a replaceable motor inside it.  Who wouldn’t want some bling to play with!? (I know, I know.. I totally pull off saying “bling.” Classy!)

So, how do you enter this giveaway? All you have to do is sign up for Babeland’s newsletter in order to have a chance at winning this little gem.  (If you are already subscribed, you are automatically entered in for this contest.)  This contest runs through the end of August.

What a great year for Babeland AND it’s customers! xoxo

This Throe allows me to get wet and messy while still keeping my bed comfy and dry.  This waterproof blanket can stand up to lubricants, lotions, oils, water and bodily fluids like no other.  Now my bed (sofa, chair, carpet, everywhere else) doesn’t have to!

I chose the Grey Throe:  how pretty and shiny!  This blanket is 4′ x 5′ and made of soft polyester.  One side is plush and fuzzy, the other is smooth and silky.  It has an inner layer that makes it water resistant, and also gives it a crinkly sound.  Because of this, the Throe reminds me of a thin sleeping bag, but much sexier and more comfortable. (Admittedly I have napped with it.  This blanket has found a permanent home on my bed with my duvet.)

Another nice perk is that this Throe has an extended one-year warranty.  It can also be machine washed on a cool setting or hand/spot-washed.  Now to the real waterproof testing.  I poured a cup of water onto the Throe, and here’s what I saw:

The soft fuzzy side keeps the liquids on the surface.  In the picture above you can see little puddles of water on the grey side.  They flow across the surface and don’t soak in.  The blue silky side soaks up the liquid, as you can see on the picture above.  The blue side has a wet patch.  The water is absorbed but doesn’t soak through to the other side.  (I have a sneaking feeling the Throe can hold a LOT of liquid.)

I have heard from other sexy folks that the Throe becomes even softer after it is machine washed.  Time will tell on that one–but I look forward to finding out!

This Throe will always be useful.  When ISN’T sex messy?  I think that Liberator made a quality product with great intentions.  This product does not have be hidden away in drawers either!   I think that this Throe will be a great encourager for me to have messier romps in the hay (or on the bed, on the sofa, etc) in the future.

Other Liberator products sold by Babeland can be viewed here. Thanks so much Babeland!! xoxo

The winner for the contest is…… Sharazade!   Congratulations!! Enjoy the collar!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey Kinksters! Babeland has graciously offered to host my second giveaway!!!  Let’s get our kink on, folks! (Anyone can enter!)

The winner of this contest gets to CHOOSE which Heart 2 Heart product she/he would rather have most.  The first option is the Heart 2 Heart Collar, pictured here:

It’s specs are 1″ wide and fit a neck with the circumference of 11.5″-16″.  It is made of leather and stainless steel.  This lovely collar is a fantastic product, especially for kinksters out there who wish to be collared inside or outside the bedroom!  Show off this sexy collar!  (I want one, but enough about me!)

The second option is this set of Heart 2 Heart Cuffs!  This is perfect for audience members who might like to be lightly (or not so lightly ^.^) restrained.  This is also perfect for folks who need a sturdy, quality pair of cuffs for bondage play!  Heck, this pair is perfect for anyone who wants to add a bit of kink into her/his sexual play.

Here are the specs for the cuffs:  I’ve arranged for them to come with a Cuff Connector.  These cuffs are made of leather.  They are 2″ wide and fit wrists with a 6″-9″ circumference.  Plus they are super sexy! Look at those bad boys!

Thanks SO much Babeland for hosting this giveaway!  xoxo

Mandatory Entry:
Post a comment describing a favorite kinkster activity.  Also tell me which product you want if you win AND provide contact details (email or twitter name, for example).

Additional Entries (Post a comment each time you do one of these!)
[+1] Follow me on Twitter: @GeekyNymph (send a follow request, as my profile is secure)
[+1] Add me on Facebook: Geeky Nymph
[+1] Follow @Babeland_Toys on twitter
[+1]Tweet about the contest once a day! For example: “Become a Bedroom Kinkster: Win a Heart 2 Heart product from @Babeland_Toys and @GeekyNymph  http://tinyurl.com/3z3vrhm”
[+3] Follow my blog!

The mandatory initial comment is just that- mandatory!  If you do not leave a mandatory comment you will be disqualified. This contest is for readers in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia!

*All comments will be checked for validity. Contest runs from July 26th 12:01 AM through August 5th 11:59 PM Eastern Standard Time. Winner will be chosen randomly. For other concerns please email me at geekynymph@gmail.com

Good Luck!!!! xoxo

The Main event is the chance to win a fancy, diamond-studded Jimmyjane Eternity vibrator.  This vibrator is worth $3,250!!  All you have to do is sign up for Babeland’s newsletter in order to have a chance at winning this little gem.  (If you are already subscribed, you are entered in for this contest.)  This contest runs through July and August.  wwwhhhheee!

Another great thing Babeland is doing is Coming For a Cause.  Erm, rather, we all are able to Come for a Cause through Babeland.  Sex Education is extremely important, thus Babeland is supporting SIECUS, Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, so that this organization can help improve sex education for future generations.  If you dontate $5 to SIECUS, Babeland will give you a FREE Jimmyjane Afterglow Candle.  How awesome is that?  You get to support an important, nonprofit organization AND receive awesome goodies in return.  It’s a total win-win.

These are simply my two favorite events going on.  To see the other goings-on that are going on, click here.  What a great month for Babeland! xoxo

So… If I had Liberator gear…..where would I put it?  I have a small bedroom full of junk I need to sort out before I go back to university.  I have decided that I would do the ultimate–the unheard of–deed to be able to review the Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo…… I would clean my room.

Give a college gal the greatest excuse to clean up in order to get down and dirty! Thanks Babeland and Liberator for great this contest! xoxo

The Big Boss Vibe from Fun Factory (which I WON! THANK YOU BABELAND!!) reminds me of the Kelis song “Bossy.”  It’s sexy, sleek, and it has ATTITUDE b%*#$es! Don’t mess with THIS toy! It’s for the big dogs!  Thus, now I pretend to have a little more attitude and a bit more swagger.  Never you mind.

Now I must admit it: this Boss is large.  It is hefty at a length of 9.75 inches and a width of 1.75 inches.  It requires some work and lubrication, but boy is the extra effort worth it!  I have been wanting a toy that is a bit larger than the ones I have.  None of mine are longer than approximately 6 inches, none thicker than an inch and a half.  So this definitely is the largest, baddest, sweetest toy I now own.

The one I received is bright RED!  I love the color.  The toy has 5 different speeds and 3 different vibration patterns.  They are all really enjoyable.  and INTENSE.  I have only tried this toy once so far and it is already my number #1.  This toy is the most capable of all of my toys to provide me with a rocking orgasm.  It does take a little time to build up to this large toy, but that is what lubrication is for!  I added a few drops and was well on my way.  (Fun Factory toys come with lube samples!)  Recharging the battery will be a new thing for me, but it seems to be a fairly easy process.

So, I highly recommend this toy to those of you out there who needs a filling, satisfying, quality toy.  Thanks Babeland! What a great giveaway! xoxoxoxo

Hello Folks!

I am hosting my FIRST EVER CONTEST! Thanks to the female and male-friendly sex toy company, Babeland, for sponsoring this giveaway! This product is geared to the male readers out there (women can enter too!), because hey, I never see contests for male products!

Here’s what we’re giving away:

His Orgasm in a Box

Here are the specs:

*Tenga Egg masturbation sleeve
*Babelube Lubettes
*Sonic Ring Kit (cock ring and vibrating bullet)

The Tenga Egg is for single or repeated usage. They come in various textures. (I think they are quite clever and cute! hehe!) The material is quite delicate and can tear easily- so take care if you want to use it more than once! The Egg is made of Thermo-Plastic Elastomer, which is slightly porous. It can be cleaned with soap and water, but cannot be disinfected. It is phthalate-free, soft, durable, and hypoallergenic.

The lubettes are glycerin-free and paraben-free. They are gentle, not sticky, and not irritating. It has a great consistency for vaginal and anal play.

The Sonic Ring Kit is also made of delicate, stretchy material so take care! The cock ring is stretchy (up to 5 inches!), and is made of Thermo-Plastic Elastomer, just like the Tenga Egg.
The Babeland Buzz vibrator is waterproof and made of hard plastic.

To Enter:
First, leave a comment stating which male sex products you like using!

Additional Entries:
[+1] Follow me on Twitter: @GeekyNymph
[+1] Follow/Add me on Facebook: Geeky Nymph
[+1] Follow @Babeland_Toys on twitter
[+1]Tweet about the contest once a day! For example: “March Male Madness: Win HIS orgasm in a box from @Babeland_Toys & @GeekyNymph http://tinyurl.com/4buyujl ”
[+2] Subscribe to Babeland’s newsletter!
[+2] Follow my blog!

Feel free to comment each time you do one of these things! This contest is male-oriented, but anyone can enter. This contest is for readers in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom & Australia!

*All comments will be checked validity. Contest runs from March 1st through March 11th @ 5:00 PM Eastern Standard Time. Winner will be chosen randomly. For other concerns please email me at geekynymph@gmail.com

Good Luck!!!! xoxo

The Winner is GLFontera!!! You have 48 hours to email me your contact information. Congratulations! xoxo