When it comes to the topic of semen, I think about all sexual fluids. I think about “coming” and “come” and how this spunk becomes somehow hyper-sexualized. The demonstration of fluids is a demonstration of arousal, of orgasm, of pleasure, of a job well done. This can be fun and okay, but what about when there is a dearth of fluids? What about when there is no ejaculate, but there is still the full presence of “coming” and pleasure and satisfaction?

This absence of fluids can be normal too–especially with the aging process. We will all likely experience a lacking of sexual fluids. What I worry about is that the over-sexualization of these aspects of sex can end up making the absence of these feel like an inadequacy. I appreciate the fact that people might seek medical assistance for such concerns, justifiably so, especially when they are recurrent. I also think that we must keep in mind that not every sexual or masturbatory encounter is the same. Our bodies change throughout our lives, and so do our experiences of sex. This is okay. Things dry up, things need extra lubrication, and all of this is okay.

I find that talking dirty about fluids can be really erotic. I totally understand that these biological processes are ingrained into many people’s experiences of sexual pleasure. I also think that it is fun to think outside the box and get a little creative with dirty talk and fantasies. When we think about expressing these experiences, as things change our wording of them might change too. Think about it: how else can we verbalize that a woman is aroused instead of/in addition to noting how “wet” she is?

Such a thought experiment might prove useful to us bloggers. How do we describe our sexual experiences and fantasies? What does the climax look like? Is it messy? What about the time no one spurted/squirted? I think it is also of value to note how we use and apply gender to certain roles and actions. Is the male the character who always comes? Is he always “rock hard”? Is his dick “huge”? What does that mean and how does that reflect our cultural values?

See who else is being wicked this week! xoxo

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