Violet Blue’s latest book released by Cleis Press is The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM Play and Much, Much More. This book is so wonderful and comprehensive about approaches to sexuality. Blue’s writing is always a treat to read because of how accessible and informative her books are.


Let me begin by saying that what I love most about this book is the topic! Sexual fantasies aren’t discussed at length anywhere, and yet we all fantasize. Sure, our fantasies may not always be sexual, but we all have ideas of exploring and we have dreams of experimenting in ways we haven’t yet tried or never will. Sexual fantasies are, for many people, these deep dark secrets kept at the core of their being; these secrets aren’t shared, even with life partners and lovers.

We are afraid of being shamed, abandoned, hurt by sharing these intimate things about ourselves, and yet we all have these fantasies. Sure sometimes they don’t overlap, but we all have something we could share but fear doing so. And in that, we can support and encourage one another in opening up without being judged. After all, the beautiful thing about fantasies is that not all of them should/could/would be acted upon in reality. Some of them must remain fantasies, but that doesn’t mean these sparks of eroticism can’t be incorporated into our sex lives in some form, perhaps via role play or dirty talk.

On a personal note, I shared these most secret of all fantasies with one person in my entire life, and it was the most freeing experience. Our trust and intimacy run deep. And now, we have a greater arsenal when trying to turn each other on. We have more things we want to actually try, other things we want to explore through various role playing, and other fantasies that we just talk about.

Let Violet Blue’s Guide become your activity book for yourself and your partners if you have them. This book is your opportunity to learn more about yourself and others you care about. From threesomes to stripteases, safer sex to gender play, this book is as thorough as it is enjoyable. Blue leaves nothing out; this book’s message is a call-to-action, permission-giving opportunity for you to learn more about yourself.

Thanks to Cleis Press for giving me The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy in exchange for my review of it. xoxo