This is The Week In Reviews (formerly Dizzygirl’s Review Roundup), a weekly collection of adult product reviews by the best sex bloggers. If you would like to participate, you can submit your links to The Week In Reviews.Week 3

Long time no see, Sinful Sunday folks! I figured I’d dive right in this week with the image above. For the first time ever, I wrote on myself, and by request the writings told a wonderfully filthy story. I found this act to be so erotic that I had the most intense play and orgasms I’ve experienced in months. I’m talking Pure Wand and Hitachi and puddles and insatiable need. It was so fun!

See who else is being sinful this week by clicking the banner below. xoxo

To hear more about Nina, her career as a feminist, activist, and porn star as well as her personal sexual experiences, I highly recommend her interview on the podcast Tangentially Speaking that’s hosted by Christopher Ryan.

I won’t go into detail about the discussion, because that is Nina’s story to tell, and because I have a mission in this post. What I want to share with you are two main ideas I took to heart. The first is a precursor to the second and I believe the second is something I really valued hearing from her. I wanted to conceptualize relationships with others in a healthy, happy way, and Nina worded it beautifully. I don’t think I will do her words justice, but here are my impressions of what she talked about.

1) Communicate. Talk about sexual wants and needs, fantasies, desires, kinks, boundaries, hard limits, and so on. Even if someone fits within the social “norm”–heterosexual and monogamous–what that person really ought to do is put into words what is pleasurable. Only after this is discussed can possible crossovers be found in order to see whether a sexual experience or relationship might progress.

2) Being okay with limits (and “no”s). Being happy and appreciative within relationships while respecting the parameters is important. It’s very easy to turn sexual desires and pleasure-seeking into a selfish game. Don’t push others to meet all of your needs; find what pleasures and interests are shared with that person(s) and set up the relationship’s boundaries around that. Being offended and whiny that someone does not fulfill all of your wants is immature. Instead of becoming grumpy about limits set upon relationships for various reasons, just enjoy and appreciate the experiences for what they are. This also involves being patient, because things change and opportunities might crop up in the future.

It’s very easy to fixate on the negative aspects of things. It’s easier to lash out in hate, jealousy, and overall “butthurt”-ness (Nina said “butthurt”! So funny.) because you turn the sexual world into a world that revolves around yourself. Try to be happy for others and their sexual successes and adventures, while enjoying living your own life and exploring your sexuality. It can be quite an honor to be involved, even remotely, in someone’s sexual adventures.

Besides, anger, jealousy, hate can be such exhausting emotions. I’d much rather expend energy on orgasms.

See who else is being wicked this week by clicking the banner below! xoxo

This is the Review Roundup, a weekly collection of some of the best adult product reviews. If you’d like to participate you can submit your links at Review Roundup.

My first piece debuted on July 3 and it is entitled: Reclaiming Vanilla Sex: Why it’s Hot.

My article discusses how the term “vanilla” has become a negative term that depicts boredom, normalcy, plainness. While vanilla things can certainly be plain, what they are definitely not are inferior to non-vanilla things. Vanilla sex can be hot, sensual, primal, rough, new, romantic, what have you. The lack of kink does not necessarily make it boring and I think this needs to be stated.

Enjoy the article! Stay tuned for future articles of mine. xoxo

A girl kept dropping her pockets.
She couldn’t keep them attached
To the seam line of her corduroys
Olive-stained and soft, cheeky
Almost, as if her pants had a voice.
She held on tight, though,
To those dear pockets that tried
To pack a knapsack and run away.
Run away, from potential disaster,
From responsibility. The pockets don’t
Want to hold prized possessions of the girl’s.
What if a teeny-tiny hole of
Imperfection in the pocket lost
All that meant something to this girl’s heart?
The pockets would never be able to forgive
Themselves, for gravity pulls their spirits
Down, so that something will inevitably fall
Out of this girl’s pocket, such as Chester.
Chester was an acorn given, humorously
From a boy. He cared for
The acorn that day. But alas,
Two steps on a nut–even accidental–will crack it.
The boy slipped the broken nut into the departing girl’s
Pocket. The acorn held potential for the future.
Chester is filled with borrowed dreams
But remained broken himself.
How could he even live if he doesn’t have a face?
For faces are what represent lives.

See who is being wicked this week by clicking the banner below. xoxo

The Toyfriend Seti looks like a mini satellite for your clitoris–and in a way, it is. This blue, handheld vibrator has a flared tip that actually increases the surface area stimulated by the toy. This increased functionality for clitoral pleasure, however, also limits its potential other uses, rendering it–for me, at least–an exclusively external toy.

One feature to be appreciated about it is that the handle is a comfortable length to be held while masturbating, even when using it in conjunction with another vaginal or anal toy. It is 7.5 inches long and made of body-safe silicone. The Seti has two vibration speeds and three vibration modes to choose from. Operating the toy is really easy: the end button needs pressed to go through the 5 settings. To turn it off the button needs to be pressed and held in a few seconds.

I like how the Toyfriends are designed: they are velvety-smooth toys with bright, bold colors and interesting shapes. As with the other Toyfriends I own, I want to display the Seti, admire it, and use it. While I really enjoy the Toyfriend brand and appreciate their approach to making toys, the Seti just doesn’t do it for me.

I find the Seti to be less successful for me because of two main reasons that are connected. Firstly, the Seti has such a flared tip that I cannot insert it vaginally, hence it must only be used clitorally for me. Secondly, this is limiting because I prefer to stimulate my clitoris with my fingers rather than with vibrators. While I would like to be more accommodating, I haven’t met a vibrator that makes me want to change my ways. I have enjoyed using this vibrator in conjunction to a vaginal toy, but I find that it takes much longer to orgasm this way, and I don’t see myself doing it often.

The Seti has the following features:

• Rub a dub dub: Waterproof
• Material: Silicone
• 2 Vibration Speeds
• 3 Vibration Modes
• Length: 7.4 inches
• Noise Level: Quiet
• Operation: 2 AAA batteries included

Toyfriends come with stands that displays these toys upright, as depicted in the picture to the right. Soon I hope they will be made with internal, rechargeable batteries that will enable the vibrators to be more powerful and versatile.

The Seti is part of the second generation of Toyfriends: the Power Toyfriends. Another vibrator in this group is the Bubbly Magenta, which I reviewed a few years ago. I also reviewed the black Wavy Rocket, of the rocket generation of Toyfriend vibrators.

Thanks Toyfriend for sending me the Seti in exchange for my review! xoxo

Interested in checking out reviews that other bloggers have written? Check out the list below! Hopefully this (weekly) roundup will give you easier access to more information about sex toys! Enjoy! xoxo

Roundup Week 1

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Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #49? Start with the newly updated rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

A Submissive’s Day

An Open Letter to Modern Female Feminists

Rape Porn: Rapists by Proxy?

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Innocent Dark and the Sweet Talk of the Storm

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Sex Toy Stories: Fifty Shades of Pink

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction

I’m fucking you, whether you’re wet or not.
Positions Filled
Second Wind
Snippets of bambi
Sir Knows Best
A Taste of Rub & Tug
Feels Like the 6th Time
Call of the Wild
Falling Violently in Lust with Suzanne
Submitting to His Will
Venus’ Orgasm
You don’t hit me hard enough spanking
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Swingers club, group sex & a queue of men

Poetry

Jitterbug
XYZ Me

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Description of my orgasm(s)
Casual Dating
Mormon Sex Symbols

Blogging

The Big Ugly Self Portrait Challenge
Blogger is dumping adult bloggers; what now?

Erotic Fiction

Perfect Spring Day
Damp
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Six
Hook-Up
Lights Out
I Am Watching
Wicked Wednesday: Karma

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

There is No Smiling in S&M – Usually
Break the boxes
Your Guide To The Perfect Sex Toy!
Age Inappropriate

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Ass Worship: Errant Oral & a Brave Submissive
Tell Me You Want Me.
Embracing My Strap-On
Talking About Kinks & Fetishes With Vanillas
Thoughts: Age and BDSM

Writing about Writing

Flat-chested Heroines

First and foremost, I never rush into anything, especially if I feel pressured. When I feel the slightest push from someone in a not-so-sexy-and-consensual way, I resist and ultimately decline. There may be a fine line between putting on the moves and pushing someone, and many might not be able to tell the difference–but it is huge. In addition, I am not a risk-taker and so I do not engage with someone unless I get a really good feel for what he is like. If he doesn’t jive with me based on personality, we will not successfully jive in bed.

When a fella and I decide we might have some fun together, we talk about the fine print. We exchange sexual health and STI information, protection requirements, current relationship status/ sex life, and so on. These are baseline topics that ought to be discussed in advance of sexy times if possible. When I initially meet a guy online, I also like to cover bases such as hard limits, turn-ons, and sexual preferences. This is because there is more time for such discussions, and it can be valuable to know this information even before meeting him in person. For example, perhaps one of his hard limits is one of your favorite sex acts to do–that might be a deal breaker. I like to make it clear that while I’m happy to do various things in the bedroom, I expect the equivalent things in return. I like to call my equal exchange agreement a “tit for tat.” This is a team effort, however short-lived. 

When I meet a guy, we arrange some semblance of a date. Dinner, drinks, coffee, what have you are all great starts to a casual meet-up without making anyone feel stressed or committed to the tentative plans. I meet and hang out with guys in public. If all goes well, perhaps we decide to stick together for the night, or plan for another night in the future. Excellent. It has been brought to my attention that these dating rituals of sorts are not common with all cultures. But until I reach the point of it being okay to text a guy to come over for an ASAP romp, I expect to at least be briefly courted. This isn’t a prenuptial, people.

What I have come to prefer most is having a good friend who also happens to be my fuck buddy. This means that the chemistry is there at least somewhat, and that our personalities connect. I also really enjoy when the casual sex is a regular thing, where monogamy is not necessary, but honesty is required. However, there can be benefits to having sexual encounters with near-strangers too. What I recommend is to still get a good sense of the person, really learn what s/he like and if you connect or not. Then plan it safely and smartly: meet in public, test the waters, see how it goes. One of the larger risks with sex with strangers is that it is harder to know if they are trustworthy and also if they are good in bed. Having realistic expectations is a must.

I do believe it can be incredibly successful to find casual, quality partners online, but you have to know where to look for what you want. Believe me when I say that dating sites and social media sites can get extremely spammy when it comes to men trying to connect/talk to women. It can be so spammy that messages get ignored, deleted, and lost in the chaos. I think there is hope for adult sites, such as XXX Sex Guides that are very specific about the type of dating they are trying to arrange for consumers.

My advice is to be respectful, straightforward, and friendly toward the people you interact with online, and more so toward the people you’d like to fuck someday. Good grammar and humor are also always great things too. If you have questions about online dating, casual relationships, long-distance relationships, etc., please contact me! xoxo

This post is brought to you by XXX Sex Guides, and depicts the thoughts and opinions of Geeky Nymph.