As I listened to Naive London Girl’s podcast titled “Gang Bangs & Rape Fantasies,” I’ve realized a problem I’ve had with previous guys I’ve seen. Anjelika speaks with Suzanne Portnoy in this episode about a wide variety of things, but the main one that struck a cord with me was that Suzanne prefers to be submissive in the bedroom. So do I. There are some guys out there who have super dominant professional lives, but it seems that when they are in the bedroom, they want to be submissive. I’ve been with guys who are generally very dominant in the daytime, but when it comes to the nighttime, they want me to do all the work. I just can’t be creative enough to tell a guy what to do. Quite frankly, I’m bad at it. I have a standard set of things I like having a guy do, but once those are done, I’m out of ideas. Maybe this blog is helping improve my bedroom creativity..
Sure, doing the work is sometimes fun and enjoyable (I can’t just lie there like a starfish), but REALLY, I want to be told what to do. It doesn’t matter if I cum every time I have sex. It doesn’t matter if I get my fill, because really, it’s a big turn on knowing I can make the guy, or the dom, satisfied and cum. Knowing I can and must do that for my Master is an erotic thrill that I most prefer. This is true even in milder versions as well. My Ex was the creative one in the bedroom and he was the one who wanted to try a different position during every romp. He was the one who decided and acted.
I do admittedly take all that I can get out of sexy times. I’ve been with guys who don’t know how to please women yet, and so I either teach them or refuse to give back in certain ways. I ultimately only do what I want in the bedroom. “Tit for Tat.” If you will. But if the guy is a good lover, he will know what gets me off and reward me for what I’ve given him. I want to receive. Not once in a blue moon. But rather once a day. That’s infrequent enough, right? (*wink*) Maybe every other day is negotiable when I become busier. xoxo
I can be a lot like this, too. Before I truly realized I was indeed submissive, I tried my hand being dominant.
Why?
Ha. Because the guy I wanted to date, was into that. Even though I’d been looking for someone a little more rough and controlling….he was looking for a domme. And so….I tried it on. But I’m too intent on making sure the OTHER person is pleased. Pleasing them gets me high.
And,as you said, I also feel I’m just not creative enough to bark orders. I even bought books to pick up a few things! But alas, both attempts at being dominant for someone failed me miserably.
Yeah. I have a guy friend who just wants me to give him kinky orders for him to do alone. I mean HUH? haha I just can’t come up with anything other than I’ve already told him in the past.